I have been thinking about the rapes and murders. Wondering about the safety of my friends. I do want to know the why and the who of rapes of women. I am sure much has been written on why men rape and who these men are. But I want to think this through for myself. When rape takes place every minute then I have to ask some more questions on why this is happening. People are not sleeping thinking about being raped. Thinking about their mothers, sisters, daughters and friends being raped. Who have been raped. Women are suffering from terrible anxiety thinking about these things. The pain of one rape goes beyond the victim or survivor and spreads to every other woman she knows. The knowledge that you were raped because of your sexuality, when that sexuality is viewed as being unnatural, doubles your anxiety. When everyone around you is continually saying you are sinful or ostracising you because of who you love – it fucks up your head. You are strong but at night you cry. You live in fear because every time you walk out of your house or compound the predator(s) maybe watching and waiting.

Men rape because they have the power to do so – the physical power and patriarchal power. They rape because they hate. If you are a lesbian they rape to punish you and show you that they have the power to do what they want with you. They rape because they know that most people think it is no big deal and even less of a deal if you are a lesbian – on the contrary give her a good dick whipping and maybe she will come to her senses. The rapists are everywhere – they are fathers, sons, brothers, cousins, friends, politicians, government officials, rich men, poor men, colleagues, school mates, activists. If one adds the number of men who rape with those who think rape or condone it then the numbers are even larger.

On Friday morning I received an email from a friend in Joburg – since I had left at the end of April she had lost three members of her family to AIDS. AIDs is another form of violence. 58% of people living with HIV in SA are women. Many of these women are positive because they were raped or because they had no power to refuse to have sex without a condom. They had no power to refuse their husbands or partners – refusing could lead to further violence – a kick, a punch, a stab, or a bunch or kicks, punches and stabs and being permanently disfigured, maimed or dead. Your children become at risk also, of kicks, punches, stabs maiming and death.

In the interview below with Walter Turner of Africa Today, Prudence Mabele of Positive Women’s Network, discusses the challenges faced by women living with HIV and dying of AIDS.

She concludes by calling on men to support women who carry the burden of HIV/AIDS; for men to become gender sensitive and work alongside women. To do this would take a strong movement of women across the continent. She uses the example of the 1956 march on the Union Building in Pretoria by thousands of ordinary women to protest against the carrying of pass laws during Apartheid. Two of the barriers to this movement which women must begin to address is firstly to overcome the stigma attached to HIV/AIDS. Secondly African women’s organisation, community leaders and ordinary women must align themselves in solidarity with all women irrespective of their sexuality.

One of the questions Turner asks, is why haven’t funders been knocking on her door to support PWN? I would also ask, why are the international LGBT community especially those of colour not knocking on the doors of African LGBT organisations and activists to ask how they can support their sisters and brothers in their struggles? When will African women irrespective of their sexual preference, come out and stand with their sisters against homophobia and misogyny directed at lesbians in their communities?

Tags: LGBTI;
Violence Against Women; South Africa

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