If someone denies you the right to care for your mother, I will defend your right.

If someone denies you the right to friendship with a person from an ethnic group that is hated, may people rise up in your defense.

If someone denies me the right to love, protect, and be with the person I care most deeply about in this world, may their gender not be a cause for you to hate.

“Homophobia works effectively as a weapon of sexism because it is joined with a powerful arm, heterosexim. Heterosexism creates the climate for homophobia with its assumption that the world is and must be heterosexual and its display of power and privileges as the norm. Heterosexim is the systemic display of homophobia in the institutions of society. Heterosexism and homophobia work together to enforce complusory heterosexuality and that bastion of patriarchal power, the nuclear family [and polygamous family)”(culled from Suzanne Pharr – Homophobia: A weapon of sexism

I have found that men are generally far more homophobic than women and far more homophobic about gay men than lesbians. The first challenges their own sexuality in that it raises their fears that they may also have or develop those same kind of feelings. Whilst the second again challenges their sexuality and positions of power (patriarchy).

ANTHONY you chose this for yourself. You pointed to Trae’s post and said “I dont wanna duplicate my energy” meaning you agree with his commentary. On that basis you will have to bear that crown.

The fact that you have a girlfriend, love Ellen Sirleaf-Johnson etc etc does not mean you are not sexist or even a misogynist. (Many of the slave plantation owners loved their slaves. Trae advocates raping lesbians and therefore by agreeing with him you too advocate the same. If that does not reveal a deep hatred of women I dont know what does. It is unfortuante that you cannot bear that crown. Do you ever wonder whether the attacks on homosexuals by people like you is an equally hard crown for THEM to bear?

I too have lived in Nigeria possibily for longer than your age and believe me there are plenty of gays and lesbians in the country. The reason you dont know of any or see any is because they are all in hiding, many are even married.

You say all people are equal but then go on to threaten violence against homosexuals. How do you work that one out? People do not get “dragged” into being homosexuals. They either are or are not and beating the crap out of them will not change that. It is not a contageous disease you know?

Maybe next time you will consider your words and actions carefully before emulating someone (Trae) so as to avoid being tarnished with the same label.

So Anthony I will not be withdrawing anything – meanwhile I walk in peace!

So why are so many Nigerian men deeply homophobic (as evinced in the thread above)? I think the answer lies, as someone suggested above, in the entrenched patriarchy here. Men subconsciously or otherwise like to think of themselves as the boss (in their relationships with women). They subconsciously or otherwise therefore participate in the social norm which places men above women. Men who come along and desire differently, and who do not wish to own and control women, threaten the sanctity of male control and male power. The Nigerian male ego likes to prowl the savannah like a lion, king of his domain.

I grew up surrounded by strong opinionated women in a village in the UK. I’ve found out since moving to Naija that there’s many similarities to my upbringing and life over here. Village people are narrow minded curtain twitchers living in fear – the world over.

Well – the world was pretty much like that twenty or thirty years ago in the UK – men thinking of themselves as the Alpha, the Silverback Gorilla; the wife doing the ironing. But women (and their male supporters) pushed and fought and pushed again – and slowly things changed.

So the guys who’ve said that homosexuality is unAfrican yadayada are really saying that they don’t want their patriarchal world of man-control of the universe shaken. That is what I think they really fear I reckon (tell me I’m wrong).

But from what I see, its the women in this society who are actually changing things – Dora, Ngozi, Obi etc(they tend to be less corrupt, better leaders, better at handling complexity). So perhaps what we are witnessing are the first serious challenges to patriarchy in Nigeria, and the homophobic outbreaks sounding off from last week’s news of the proposed bill are the whimperings of patriarchal men who fear losing control.